Happy New Year!

My final cake of 2012 was also my first cake on which I incorporated fondant elements and the first pic I'm sharing here!  Most of the stars and all of the curlicues are done in fondant.  I was inspired by this cake:  http://cakecentral.com/g/i/2237568/a/2238568/new-years-addition/sort/display_order/.   Aw, who am I kidding?  I totally tried to copy it almost exactly.  I just don't have the fondant skills to do all the bedazzling the original cake had on it.  I actually had sketched out an idea I had and then went online searching for more ideas.  I found this design and it was almost identical to what I had sketched out.  I was a bit disappointed at first, thinking I had no originality, but then realized, neither did the designer of the cake if I thought of it, too!  :)

Mine isn't nearly as nice, but I'm proud of it considering it's my first try.  I was surprised that I enjoyed futzing with the fondant since I have always been opposed to it.  Of course, I had to use pre-made fondant as I was not about to try making my own yet.  I used the DUFF brand and I was surprised at how tasty it turned out to be.  If you enjoy baking the giant cupcake but haven't figured out a great way to transport it, prepare to have me blow your mind!  Use a 10 inch board as your base.  Purchase a hat box and turn it upside down.  Put the cake in what was formerly the lid, but is now the bottom of the hat box.  Use the large cylinder part of the box to cover the cake if you haven't been a doofus like me, and went and stuck all sorts of stars in the top of your cake.  A basic frosted giant cupcake fits fabulously in an upside down hatbox, and then you can stick your frou-frou stuff in the top when you get to your destination. 

 Happy New Year, everyone!

Snips and snails

I get obsessed about things.  2 years ago it was The Great Dane Search.  We had lost our first dane to a long, horrible illness and it had been completely overwhelming and heartbreaking.  A few months later I became consumed with the task of acquiring another dane to snuggle.  I found tons of danes online.  Some being rehomed by idiot owners.  Some being sold by idiot owners.  And one being given away for free by someone who I was sure was just trying to scam people, or was the biggest idiot of all.  I decided to try to find out which one.

"Jesus!", was the first thing that went through my head when I saw him.  He was not just big; he was a Big. Damn. Dog.  With his sleek coat, soft eyes, and thick tail, I instantly knew he was mine.  I contacted the owner and we went back and forth for a bit over email before they dropped off the planet and pulled their ad.  I assumed they decided on someone else.  I kept looking and eventually brought home this crazy looking goofball.

Beast is about 110 pounds of pure sweetheart.  Fabulous with the kids and just a happy dog.  She had recently had a litter of pups and then was dumped by the owner.  She needed an emergency spay and a lot of love.  She looks so silly, she's so good with the kids, and that dog will not let a stranger in this house.   She has a lyrical name, unlike her online alias here.  Just a great girl.  About 2 weeks after bringing her home, we had to euthanize our dachshund.  Her name was Sputnik.  Really, it was.  Sputnik the Wonder Dog.  I still can't even think about it without crying, but a short week after that, I saw a familiar ad online.  I was still trolling pet sites, you see.  I don't know why.  But there he was again and I had to find out what was going on that he was back online.

The owner was having a hard time letting him go, but they had finally come to grips with their decision.  She drove 3 hours to come check out our house and yard.  She brought him with her.  It took us about 10 minutes to get him in the house.  Once in, Beast lost her mind.  I had her corralled in the kitchen but she came flying through the pass-through window from the kitchen into the dining room.  Bounded over to Cujo and it was love at first sight.  He wasn't nearly as enthralled.  He gave her a withering look, ambled a few steps away and took a giant dump on my dining room rug.  That pile sealed the deal - I had to have him as my puppy. The rest of the visit went well and the owner took Cujo home with her to make her final decision.  A few days later she called me and I drove the 3 hours to her house to pick him up.  We got him in my van and life hasn't been the same since.  He's MY dog.  Don't get me wrong, he loves the whole family, but he's MY dog.  And here he is:

Giant George, the Guiness world record holder for Largest Dog, is 40 inches at the withers and 245 pounds.  Cujo is 38 inches and 242 pounds; which is a little overweight, but he was just diagnosed with a thyroid problem.  We're starting meds and praying it helps him.  He's a lover, a snuggler, and not afraid to defend his house.  I don't know how I got so lucky to get two protective mutts that aren't dangerous around the kids or aggressive to the cats.   Not only is he a giant loverdog, but he keeps The Boy feeling safe.  The Boy refuses to go to bed until the dogs are in his room.  They keep away the monsters and other scary people that give him nightmares still.  Nearly 3 years after coming to us and he's still feeling the effects of his past trauma.  Oh, how I hate his past.  And oh, how I love The Boy.  Especially the fact that he can find it in him to trust something -  the Big Damn Dogs - even if he can't allow himself to fully trust us. 

What's in a name?

"Are you going to change your names and move?"

That question should have been our first clue that we were in deeper than we ever thought we'd be.  We were sitting with the social workers from DCF and discussing the progress of our foster son's case.  We had been informed before he was ever placed in our home that his father was dangerous.  But he was in prison, we reasoned.  And there was going to be a court order preventing our identifying info from ever being released to him.  How would he find us when he didn't even know our names?   Naivety, thou art cruel.  Find us, he did, when he was released from prison.  He called us to try to rattle our cage and now we live life assuming we are constantly being watched.  We had already installed a video security system the week before he was released from prison.  Two giant dogs named Cujo and Beast are our front line of protection.  And yet we don't feel safe.  How do you protect your family from a sociopath?  Our stress levels are through the roof, our patience is razor thin, and we both are ready to crawl into a hole and never come out.  But we've got the two most precious children in the world who keep us going.  We had to each find something to help keep us relatively sane.  I found baking.

I bake for bake sales, I bake for coworkers, I bake for family, but mostly I bake for me.  It calms me, it helps me to focus my brain on the numbers/measurements of ingredients instead of on the nightmare of the day.  Listening to the whir of the mixer and watching the batter flow in waves from a bowl to a pan is enthralling.   I also dabble in cooking.  But it doesn't appeal to me as much as baking.  I love to create beautiful swirls of frosting, moist cakes, and crispy cookies.  I just don't get the same satisfaction when cooking up parsnips or grinding pepper in the mill.  Oh, wait.  Takesy-backseys.  Pepper grinding provides relief as I envision myself grinding up all of our problems, gathering their particles into a neat, little pile and then blowing them off into the air.  Whoosh! Gone.

I've decided to start this blog as another stress reliever.  I tend to spend WAY too much time analyzing everything with the kids' cases.  Are their parents doing what they need to in order to get them back?  Is DCF going to move them to a different home if I don't tow the line and go along with every stupid thing?  Am I going to get to keep my Peanut Brittle?   Am I going to get to keep The Boy?  The little boy who has been in the middle of a giant tug-o-war for far too many years.   I plan on posting random recipes, musings on the foster care system, and pictures of giant dogs and naked cats.  And praising the existence of my exhausted husband without whom I would never have made it through the last few years of this craziness.  Join me on the roller coaster.  Remember, you have to throw your hands up in the air and scream as you ride.  It's the only way to get through it.